students with perfect SAT scores, leaving applicants and parents wondering what

went wrong. While there is no secret formula for gaining admission to a top

school, there are many ways to ensure rejection, and the most common by far is

taking the admissions essay lightly.

每一年，哈佛大学会拒绝80%高中毕业生的申请，被哈佛拒绝的SAT高分学生数以百计，留下申请者和家长们思考哪里出错了。我们没有名校申请宝典，然而对许多学生被拒的原因却非常有把握，这最常见的原因就是不重视申请文书。

Over one-third of the time an admissions officer spends on your application

is spent evaluating your essay. Admissions officers use the essay to compare

hundreds or even thousands of applicants with similar grades, activities, and

SAT scores. To stand out, your essay must not only demonstrate your grasp of

grammar and ability to write lucid, structured prose, you must also paint a

vivid picture of your personality and character, one that compels a busy

admissions officer to accept you. Fortunately, unlike every other aspect of the application, you control your

essay, and can be sure that the glimpse you give the admissions committee into

your character, background, and writing ability is the most positive one

possible.

大学招生官花在评估你文书的时间超过三分之一。数百甚至数千的申请者们和你有着相似的成绩、活动经历和sat分数，招生官当然就借助文书来筛选。要于千人之中脱颖而出，文书就不能仅是展示你语法掌握得好，行文流畅，而且还要生动地展示你这个人!文如其人，你要在文书中体现自己的性格和品质，让百忙之中的招生官一眼便相中你。

幸运的是，不像其他申请材料那么硬性，文书是可由自己支配的，你能确保你展示给招生官的“一瞥”是最闪亮的一面。 I have written this article to help you avoid the most common essay flaws. If

you remember nothing else about this article, remember this: Be Interesting. Be

Concise.

下面是十点文书写作常见瑕疵，如果你记不住这篇文章的其他建议，也要记住这四个字：有趣、简洁。

TOP 10 ESSAY WRITING TIPS

文书写作10大建议 1. Don't Thesaurusize Your Essay. Do Use Your Own Voice.

不要言过其实，不要用华丽辞藻堆砌文书，要说自己的话。 Admissions officers can tell Roget from an 18-year-old high school senior.

Big words, especially when misused, detract from the essay, inappropriately

drawing the reader's attention and making the essay sound contrived. Before: Although I did a plethora of activities in high school, my assiduous

efforts enabled me to succeed. After: Although I juggled many activities in high school, I succeeded through

persistent work.. 2. Don't Bore the Reader. Do Be Interesting.

文章有趣才能吸引读者！ Admissions officers have to read hundreds of essays, and they must often

skim. Abstract rumination has no place in an application essay. Admissions

officers aren't looking for a new way to view the world; they're looking for a

new way to view you the applicant. The best way to grip your reader is to begin

the essay with a captivating snapshot. Notice how the slightly jarring scene

depicted in the "after" creates intrigue and keeps the reader's interest. Before: The college admissions and selection process is a very important one,

perhaps one that will have the greatest impact on one's future. The college that

a person will go to often influences his personality, views, and career. After: An outside observer would have called the scene ridiculous: a

respectable physician holding the bell of his stethoscope to the chest of a

small stuffed bear. 3. Do Use Personal Detail. Show, Don't Tell!

给招生官来一场“秀”。

Good essays are concrete and grounded in personal detail. They do not merely

assert "I learned my lesson" or that "these lessons are useful both on and off

the field." They show it through personal detail. "Show don't tell," means if

you want to relate a personal quality, do so through your experiences and do not

merely assert it. Before: I developed a new compassion for the disabled. After: The next time Mrs. Cooper asked me to help her across the street, I

smiled and immediately took her arm.

The first example is vague and could have been written by anybody. But the

second sentence evokes a vivid image of something that actually happened,

placing the reader in the experience of the applicant. 4. Do Be Concise. Don't Be Wordy.

文章要简洁，忌啰嗦！ Wordiness not only takes up valuable space, but it also can confuse the

important ideas you're trying to convey. Short sentences are more forceful

because they are direct and to the point. Certain phrases such as "the fact

that" are usually unnecessary. Notice how the revised version focuses on active

verbs rather than forms of "to be" and adverbs and adjectives. Before: My recognition of the fact that the project was finally over was a

deeply satisfying moment that will forever linger in my memory. After: Completing the project at last gave me an enduring sense of

fulfillment. 5. Don't Use Slang, Yo!

不要使用俚语。 Write an essay, not an email. Slang terms, clichés, contractions, and an

excessively casual tone should be eliminated. Here's one example of

inappropriately colloquial language.

Well here I am thinking about what makes me tick. You would be surprised.

What really gets my goat is when kids disrespect the flag. My father was in 'Nam

and I know how important the military is to this great nation.

6. Do Vary Your Sentences and Use Transitions.

用好连词，使文章错落有致。 The best essays contain a variety of sentence lengths mixed within any given

paragraph. Also, remember that transition is not limited to words like

nevertheless, furthermore or consequently. Good transition flows from the

natural thought progression of your argument. Before: I started playing piano when I was eight years old. I worked hard to