【SAT作文】写作满分范文推荐（四）

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Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and

assignment below.

The old saying, "be careful what you wish for," may be an appropriate

warning. The drive to archive a particular goal can dangerously narrow one's

perspective and encourage the fantasy that success in one endeavor will solve

all of life's difficulties. In fact, success can sometimes have unexpected

consequences. Those who propel themselves toward the achievement of one goal

often find that their lives are worse once "success" is achieved than they were

before.

Assignment

Can success be disastrous? Plan and write an essay in which you develop

your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and

examples taken from your readings, studies, experience, and observations.

Sample Essay - Score of 6 SAT写作6分范文

The power of success can be disastrous when placed in the wrong hands.

Naturally, there are those who will always choose to manipulate conditions to

succeed in their own endeavors, not taking into consideration the lives of those

around them. On the other hand, there may be those who do not necessarily pursue

selfish ends, but simply do not know where to take success once it has been

achieved, thus resulting in their own self-sabotage.

Throughout history, we have seen success used wrongfully in the hands of

the unworthy. Powerful leaders of nations, kingdoms, and empires, having

succeeded in gaining leadership, have then used their influence wrongfully in

achieving their own selfish (and sometimes twisted) goals. Nero, the Roman

emperor who beat his pregnant wife to death and has been suspected of

instigating the great fire of Rome in an attempt to boost his own political

influence. Henry VIII of England, for whom women were beheaded for not bearing

him a son, and who is rumored to have eaten eight chickens a night while English

peasants starved. The notorious Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain, who carried out

the Spanish Inquisition. The list is endless. Even in literature, we see the

corruption and downfall of society and mankind as a whole as a result of the

abuse of success in the possession of those who do not deserve it, as seen in

William Shakespeare’s tragedy of King Lear. In the story, societal order is

replaced with chaos when there is a power shift from Lear to his evil daughters,

Regan and Goneril. This order only returns to a slight degree when virtue (in

the form of Lear’s good daughter, Cordelia) returns to England. Success is

hazardous when awarded to the unvirtuous.

However, there may be those who are not necessarily evil of greedy in their

pursuits, but merely do not know how to handle success. This proves to be just

more disastrous to the individual than to anyone else, since it is the

individual who will then sabotage his own success to return to his former

comfort zone. Success is meant to be grown upon, not exploited or feared.

Success, when achieved by the unworthy or inexperienced, is a most

disastrous element. Success is not about being happy at the expense of those

about you –it is about using one’s newly gained happiness to improve the lives

of others. If one reflects on the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, one will

never go astray: “To know that one person has breathed easier because you have

lived -this is to have succeeded.”

Score Explanation SAT写作6分范文点评

This essay demonstrates outstanding critical thinking by insightfully

developing the point of view that, while "there are those who will always choose

to manipulate conditions to succeed in their own endeavors, not taking into

consideration the lives of those around them," there are also "those who do not

necessarily pursue selfish ends, but simply do not know where to take success

once it has been achieved, thus resulting in their own self-sabotage." The essay

effectively supports this position by first focusing on multiple clearly

appropriate examples from history and literature of "success used wrongfully in

the hands of the unworthy." By describing corrupt or abusive actions of Nero,

Henry VIII, "Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain," and the fictional daughters of

King Lear in Shakespeare’s play. The essay develops the idea that a historical

pattern exists in which, after successfully "gaining leadership," "Powerful

leaders…have then used their influence wrongfully in achieving their own selfish

(and sometimes twisted) goals." The essay easily moves to discuss how success

can be disastrous for "those who are not necessarily evil or greedy in their

pursuits, but merely do not know how to handle success," and therefore

"sabotage" their success to return to a "former comfort zone." Finally, the

essay supports the writer's own definition of success, with the appropriate

words of Ralph Waldo Emerson ("To know that one person has breathed easier

because you have lived--this is to have succeeded"). This well-organized and

clearly focused essay demonstrates coherence and smooth progression of ideas.

The essay consistently demonstrates skillful use of language ("In the story,

societal order is replaced with chaos when there is a power shift from Lear to

his evil daughters, Regan and Goneril"). This essay demonstrates clear and

consistent mastery and achieves the highest score of 6.