【SAT作文】写作满分范文推荐(三)
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Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and
assignment below.
To change is to risk something, making us feel insecure. Not to change is a
bigger risk, though we seldom feel that way. There is no choice but to change.
People, however, cannot be motivated to change from the outside. All of our
motivation comes from within.
Adapted from Ward Sybouts, Planning in School Administration: A
Handbook
Assignment:
What motivates people to change? Plan and write an essay in which you
develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning
and examples taken from you reading, studies, experience, or observations.
Sample Essay - 6分范文
What motivates people to change is a relentless and innate desire for
self-improvement. Rarely ever has history seen a man or society kick back,
relax, and say “Well that about does it. Not much else to do here!” Within every
person is the potential to achieve greatness in some form; be it athletically,
mentally, spiritually. This inherent potential demands that people continue to
explore and change both their environments and themselves throughout their
life’s course. Never should a man be idle for too long. After acknowledging the
changes a man has already made to his environment, the pursuit of
self-improvement will once again stir within his soul and call him to action.
This internal desire, this pursuit of challenge and perfection, does not
prohibit man from being happy with his status and achievements. On the contrary,
the device serves more to allow the man to constantly strive for greater change,
newer innovation. What motivates people to change is the ongoing need to
redefine people’s lives and identities –to elevate them to higher levels of
eminence and success.
A good example of this can be seen in clinical psychology. When patients
seek therapy for difficulties that have encumbered their daily functioning, they
most often arrive for treatment voluntarily and willingly- they consciously
accept the necessity of therapy and so participate without any duress. During
the course of clinical therapy, the patient’s concerns, anxieties, ideas,
emotions, and fears are brought to light. However, the clinician does not try to
alter the beliefs, feeling, and sentiments of his client; rather, he simply
illuminates them in order to provide the patient with an accurate view of
himself. The process, of raising concerns and ideas to the surface of conscious
awareness, is known as clarification. Modern psychology is a far throw from the
psychoanalysis of Freud’s time, in which psychologists attempted to “interpret”
pre-and unconscious feelings that had been repressed by the patient. Because
clinicians only clarify, and not dissect, alter, or interpret a client’s inner
desires and emotions, the client himself is responsible for instituting change.
If he is to change, he must dictate the course of therapy, and make the
conscious choice to improve himself. This widely used approach is called “client
centered therapy.” If the client’s ennui or ill feelings are due to situational
factors or internal designs (as oppose to biological changes that would qualify
for a diagnosis of psychopathology (mental disorder)), he must change them on
his own accord to precipitate change within himself. The therapist will not
“cure” him in any way. He alone must answer the call within himself to refine
and redefine his identity and place in society. This need, of self-improvement,
also initially brought him to the therapist. He was able to recognize the
disorder of his environment and acknowledge his own negative feelings. This in
turn brought him to therapy, where he was guided through a process of
introspection that ultimately enabled him to improve himself, assuage his
anxieties, and rightfully continue on his lifelong pursuit of even greater
achievements.
Score Explanation 6分原因与点评
This outstanding essay effectively and insightfully develops the point of
view that “What motivates people to change is the ongoing need to redefine
people’s lives and identities – to elevate them to higher levels of eminence and
sucess.” The writer demonstrates outstanding critical thinking by clearly
focusing on “client centered therapy” to support this position. The writer
begins by explaining that “When patients seek therapy for difficulties that have
encumbered their daily functioning, they most often arrive for treatment
voluntarily and willingly.” The writer then describes the process of therapy and
shows how, if the client “is to change, he must dictate the course of therapy,
and make the conscious choice to improve himself.” The writer concludes with the
idea that therapy is a tool for someone who wishes to change, and while the
therapist will not “cure” a client, the introspection encouraged by the
therapist can “refine and redefine” the client’s “identity and place in
society.” The essay is well organized, demonstrating clear coherence and smooth
progression of ideas. Throughout the essay, the writer exhibits the skillful use
of language by using a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary (“During the course
of clinical therapy, the patient’s concerns, anxieties, ideas, emotions, and
fears are brought to light. However, the clinician does not try to alter the
beliefs, feelings, and sentiments of his client; rather, he simply illuminates
them in order to provide the patient with an accurate view of himself. This
process, of raising concerns and ideas to the surface of conscious awareness, is
known as clarification”). This response demonstrates clear and consistent
mastery and receives a score of 6.
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