SAT考试写作满分范文鉴赏(6)

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SAT写作满分范文系列(6) Essay题目选自The Official SAT Study Guide Avail Practice Test

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Prompt

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and

assignment below.

There is, of course, no legitimate branch of science that enables us to

predict the future accurately. Yet the degree of change in the world is so

overwhelming and so promising that the future, I believe, is far brighter than

anyone has contemplated since the end of the Second World War.

Adapted from Allan E.Goodman, A Brief History of the Future: The United

States in a Changing World Order.

Assignment

Is the world changing for the better? Plan and write an essay in which you

develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning

and examples taken from your readings, studies, experience, and

observations.

Sample Essay - Score of 6 SAT写作6分范文

Reactions to World Wars one and two in expressed by the artistic community

and historically do not support the idea that the world is changing for the

better. One example of the negative effects of World War two psychologically may

be taken from Leslie Marmon Silko’s novel Ceremony. The novel’s protagonist,

Tayo, a young native american veteran living on a reservation, returns from his

war experience severely mentally damaged, referring to himself at one point as

“white smoke”. The novel expresses several times that Tayo is only one case of

many damaged young native americans who return from this war. Elders of the

Laguna native american tribe express distress at the fact that they will not be

able to heal their returning World War two warriors with traditional war healing

ceremonies, and Tayo believes this is because warfare has changed

dramatically.

The tribe, losing many members to the war physically and psychologically,

suffers weakening blows. It is clear that the difference between old warfare in

which warriors could face their enemies and new warfare in which soldiers shoot

blindly across distances is great. The destruction of modern warfare witnessed

by the new veterans was devastating in a ruinous way as it never had been. The

resulting threat of the disintegration of the tribe as old healing techniques

fail weakens the tribe in ways it had never been weakened before.

A similar mental disintegration, tied in with a lack of optimism was seen a

great deal following World War one. Before the war, old Enlightenment ideas of

rational thought, progress, and the goodness of mankind abounded. The incredible

and unprecidented distruction seen in World War one, however, combined with the

psychological effect of the use of the newest mass-destruction and chemical

weapons proved to quash the pre-war sentiment of optimism and post-Enlightenment

zeal. New weapons such as mustard gas and machine guns could kill thousands in

unspeakably brutal ways, and the casualties of the war, greater than any in

history, showed the weapons to be very effective. The loss of human life in

hundreds of thousands, combined with the destruction of European land at the end

of World War one proved to crush the morale of the European populace and to

discourage optimism with regard to scientific progress; scientific progress had

only served to cause destruction and horror in war.

The negative psychological repercussions of World War one and two served to

give people, particulary Europeans, a less optimistic view of the world and of

mankind. The change in weaponry and style of warfare, visible in the example of

Silko’s Ceremony, contribute to the the idea that the world was not changing for

the better; the new warriors of Ceremony could not be healed, and the

optimistic, naive vision of pre-world war two Europe could not be restored. If

man could cause such immense physical and psychological destruction with the

products of scientific change, the world could not have changed for the

better.

Score Explanation SAT写作6分范文点评

This outstanding essay insightfully and effectively develops the point of

view that “If man could cause such immense physical and psychological

destruction with the products of scientific change, the world could not have

changed for the better.” The writer demonstrates outstanding critical thinking

by focusing on clearly appropriate evidence from literature and history to

support this position. The essay begins by describing Leslie Marmon Silko's

Ceremony as a novel in which the "protagonist, Tayo, a young native american

veteran," becomes representative of the "many damaged young native americans"

who returned from World War II. Traumatized by the "new warfare in which

soldiers shoot blindly across distances," these former soldiers pose a threat of

"disintegration of the tribe as old healing techniques fail." Next, the response

discusses "A similar mental disintegration, tied in with a lack of optimism" in

Europe following World War I, as "old Enlightenment ideas of rational thought,

progress, and the goodness of mankind" were challenged by "New weapons such as

mustard gas and machine guns" that "could kill thousands in unspeakably brutal

ways" and therefore "crush the morale of the European populace and …discourage

optimism with regard to scientific progress." This well-organized and clearly

focused essay demonstrates coherence and progression of ideas. Several

capitalization errors are offset by the essay's consistently skillful use of

language and meaningful variety in sentence structure ("The change in weaponry

and style of warfare, visible in the example of Silko's Ceremony, contribute to

the the idea that the world was not changing for the better; the new warriors of

Ceremony could not be healed, and the optimistic, naive vision of pre-world war

two Europe could not be restored"). This, this essay demonstrates clear and

consistent mastery and is scored 6.