怎样才能写出满分作文?新SAT官方指南写作范文赏析
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今天为大家带来的是新SAT官方指南OG第三篇练习题的写作范文赏析,写作阅读文章是一篇在2013年发表在《时代周刊》上的一篇文章,主要论述小孩从小就接触现代科技产品的好处。下面请看这篇写作题的范文及赏析。
材料:The Official SAT Study Guide
试卷:3
页数:620
题目:The Digital Parent Trap
范文:
In "The Digital Parent Trap", Eliana Dockterman argues that there are
benefits to early exposure to technology. Dockterman lays the foundation for her
argument by discussing the controversy surrounding the widespread use of
technology without clearing stating her own opinion. Once she reveals her
position, she builds her case by citing credible experts on the benefits of
early technology exposure and debunking the claims of technology detractors.
Although Dockterman spends more than a third of her article exploring
possible reasons why broad technology access may not be in the best interests of
children, rhetorical questions and clever wording hint that she is not fully on
board with technological dissidents. At the start of paragraph three, she pits
moms trying to "protect" their kids from technology against dads encouraging
them to "embrace it". This forces the reader to start considering the possible
pros and cons of early technology exposure. Even as she describes the
longstanding reasons why some oppose excessive technology use, careful word
choice suggests that opponents of technology are anachronistic and overly rigid
in their thinking. At the beginning of paragraph four, the capital letters in
the line "For years, the Parental Adage was simple" are a subtle condemnation of
overly simplistic thinking. Again, in paragraph five, the phrase "fundamental
aversion" suggests that those with a knee-jerk distaste for technology are
guilty of fundamentalism.
With the reader beginning to question whether fearmongering over youth
technology use is unfounded, Dockterman begins citing expert after expert on the
benefits of technology on young minds. All of the experts come from
well-respected institutions and quote impressive statistics. A professor of
anthropology describes how social networking gives kids access to new forms of
learning. Researchers at SRI, "a nonprofit research firm", explain that online
games increase students' performance on logic tests. Studies referenced by MIT
demonstrate that digital learning dramatically increases information retention
compared to more traditional methods of learning like reading, listening, and
watching demonstrations. Most important of all, technological fluency gives
students a competitive advantage in securing lucrative jobs as the STEM fields
continue to grow at a rapid pace. All of these benefits form a firm buffer
against the unproven concerns of technology opponents.
Dockterman not only quotes those who oppose technology to make her argument
appear more balanced, but she also cleverly uses them to undermine their own
cause. Unlike the advocates of technology, the opponents of technology do not
cite any statistics nor do they come from comparably impressive backgrounds.
This makes the anecdotal testimony of a Waldorf School administrator, for
example, pale in comparison with the study conducted by a UC Irvine
anthropologist. Even the screen time limits suggested by the American Academy of
Pediatrics have become outdated because they wrongly presuppose that all screen
time is as mind numbing as watching television. On the contrary, actively using
a computer or tablet can be "brain-stimulating".
By first acknowledging why some oppose extensive technology use, Eliana
Dockterman sets herself up to effectively tout its social and pedagogical
benefits. She concludes her essay with this same nuanced logic she began with by
reminding parents that despite technology's many benefits, they are still
responsible for monitoring their children's technology time and preventing
misuse.
赏析:
下面分别从新SAT文章写作的三个评分要点:reading,analysis和writing,总结满分作文的优点,并结合官方指南样题The
Digital Parent Trap的范文来加以具体分析。同时总结开头段落常用句型。
第一、 从阅读方面来看,对原文全面理解,精准掌握中心思想,有以下三个特点:
1、 中心思想,正确诠释。在The Digital Parent Trap的范文中,作者在首段和尾端简要地总结了原文的中心思想:There are
benefits to early exposure to technology; Eliana Dockerman sets herself up to
effectively tout its social and pedagogical benefits.
2、引用原文,融会贯通。满分文章的一个优点就是会大量自然地呈现原文的细节,比如原文作者所列的facts(事实)、statics(数据)、the
results of experiments (实验结果)、research(研究)或是作者的personal
anecdote(个人轶事)等。但这绝不是长篇大论的直接引用原文细节,而是通过skillful use of paraphrase and direct
quotations (巧妙地改写或者是别具匠心地直接引用)。例如,上述范文的第一主体段落就指出了原文作者Eliana Dockerman
在文中使用了生动的用词(clever wording)及修辞手段: she pits mom trying to “protect” their kids
from technology against dads encouraging them to “embrace
it”.这体现了原文的细节。可以说,这种对细节的呈现和巧妙的引用贯穿于全文的始终。
3、引用原文,精确无误。就阅读而言,评判满分文章的另一个重要标准是,在引用时不能歪曲误解原文作者的意思,更不能与原文作者的意思相悖。满分文章在引用和分析原文的论证过程中,往往能够做到与原文作者若合一契。
第二、从分析方面来看,满分文章对原文的分析有效合理。
满分作文在分析原文作者对论据,推理形式及修辞等语言手段的使用时,要分析这些要素在巩固,支撑原文作者观点中多发挥的作用,借此向考官展示自己的分析能力。比如,在上述范文中,作者不仅简单列出了Eliana
Dockerman在原文中所使用的clever wording,而且进一步的分析了这一手法在增强原文说服力上所起的作用:This forces the
readers to start considering the possible pros and cons of early technology
exposure.
第三、就写作方面而言,满分考生具备极强的英语语言使用和掌握能力,一气呵成,浑然一体。答卷使用了not only...but also, for
example, on the contrary等过渡衔接词,使文章结构紧凑,思路清晰。同时句型多变,用词精确,文体正规,语调客观。At the
beginning of paragraph four, the capital letters in the line “For years, the
Parental Adage was simple” are a sutble condemnation of overly simplistic
thinking.”
最后为大家补充开头段落常用模板句型:
• In this speech, ... raises … in order to build the argument that …
• He/She begins by …
• In the next lines, he/she establishes a kinship with his audience by
…
• He/She emphasizes …, suggesting that …
As anyone knows that …
• This is the point … eloquently makes in …
• By using anecdotes, examples, reasoning, and powerful imagery, …argues
that ...
When … made his/her speech in …, he/she was speaking at the height of …
• … felt strongly that …
• In this speech, he/she uses several techniques to persuade his/her
audience of his/her claim.
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