【SAT写作范文】高分范文实例解析及点评

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题目：

Think about the views expressed in the following passage:

“WANT TO GET AHEAD? TRY LYING” says a headline, with the idea that by

always telling the truth, or by telling too much truth, we put ourselves at a

disadvantage。

Stephen Lim tells the following story: “Working my way through school, I

delivered special delivery mail for the U.S. Postal Service. Each morning the

dispatcher handed drivers a pile of letters and packages. Before starting our

route, we recorded the number of stops we had to make. While the other drivers

padded their figures, I didn’t. This made me look bad in comparison, lowering

the supervisor’s opinion of my performance。”

Stephen paid a minor penalty for telling the truth. But others can suffer

more serious consequences for being honest. Consider a few: Because they don’t

cheat on assignments and tests to boost their grades, some students fail to get

into the college of their choice. Job applicants don’t succeed in getting a

coveted position because they refuse to pad their resumés。

“In a nutshell, it’s harder and harder to be an honest person in today’s

society,” says Stephen Lim。“After a while, you feel like a jerk when other

people are getting ahead by taking shortcuts。”

Adapted from Stephen Lim, “Telling the Truth—Does It Pay?” Plain Truth,

May/June, 2001

Assignment: Does Stephen’s statement describe the way things actually are,

or is it a cynical distortion of the truth? Plan and write an essay that

discusses your point of view on the issue. Support your position with evidence

and reasoning drawn from your studies, reading, experience, or observation。

范文：

Many people fall prey to lying mainly because it is so easy to do. It

involves no physical labor, no stren-uous activity, no expenses, and no special

skills. All you have to do is open your mouth and let the words fall out。

Lying is a major part of getting a job you are not totally qualified for.

You write up a nice little resume with all the details of your life, most of

which don’t pertain to the job at all, such as, for instance, your marita status

or that you won the Noble Serf Award in eleventh grade, an award that you invent

right on the spot.Just in case you are asked during the interview what the award

was for, you prepare a lie ahead of time,maybe something like it’s an award for

integrity, for being an extremely honest and trustworthy person. Also, you might

not have quite enough experience for the job you are trying to get. So you

fabricate a little more to show that you are used to hard work and

responsibility. After all, what’s the harm in shading thetruth a little?

While it’s true that your lies will have no immediate effect, what will

happen if your employer checks on you, when he or she finds out that there is no

such thing as the Noble Serf Award, and that you were not the assistant manager

of the supermarket at all but just a lackey who retrieved shopping carts from

the parking lot? This is when you must face the consequences of your “harmless”

little lies. If you are caught lying, after your face goes back to its normal

color, you will most likely be looking for another job。

Does that mean it’s okay to lie as long as you don’t get caught? Nothing

could be farther from the truth because the effects of lying can be more

serious. If you claim credit for something that is not yours and you hurt

somebody, then you have crossed over the line. You have become not only a liar

but a thief, and you have lost your integrity. Or even worse if someone causes

pain to others because he or she believes in a lie you’ve told, the consequences

can be very severe. Recently there was a male nurse who lied his way into jobs

in several hospitals, and wherever he went the death rate of patients rose

dramatically. For a long time no one noticed the correlation between him and the

death rate, but by the time it was discovered, he had left a trail of dozens of

innocent victims.

While this may be an extreme case, it still illustrates that

lying, even though it may be as easy as breathing, can lead to very harmful

results。

范文点评

The first reader commented: “This essay combines a serious message with a

bit of sophisticated humor. The light touch is a tribute to the writer’s level

of maturity. The examples she uses to support the thesis are well-written and

sufficiently detailed. The overall presentation is lively, interesting, and

virtually errorfree。”

The second reader commented: “A thoughtful and insightful piece of writing,

this essay deserves the highest rating. The sequence of paragraphs is

particularly apt: The first two paragraphs show that lying is prevalent because

‘it is so easy.’ Just how easy is wittily illustrated in the story of the

fabricated resumé. The third paragraph discusses minor pitfalls of lying, but

the fourth takes up its potential for disastrous, lifealtering consequences.

After presenting an example of compelling evidence—a homicidal nurse—in the last

paragraph the writer draws the only possible conclusion: Lying ‘can lead to very

harmful results.’“Throughout the essay, the writer maintains a consistent tone,

demonstrates skill in the use of interesting, lively language, and proves her

mastery of the elements of composition。”