SAT写作官方样题高分范文：Let there be dark（7）

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Sample Student Essays of“Let There Be Dark.” ©2012 by Los Angeles Times. Originally published December 21, 2012.

Scores: 4 3 4

Paul Bogard, a respected and passionate writer, offers a convincing argument

on the importance of allowing more darkness to fill the earth for distinct

health and ecological reasons. With light providing as such a huge factor in

daily life, we sometimes forget that darkness can have more healing abilities,

and allows nature to return to a nonartificial, primitive state. Bogard uses

personal observation for credibility, stirring feelings, and startling facts to

deliver a powerful argument.

Throughout the passage, Bogard remains nostalgic about his childhood: “At my

family’s cabin on a Minnesota lake, I knew woods so dark that my hands

disappeared before my eyes. I knew night skies in which meteors left smoky

trails across sugary spreads of stars....This winter solstice, as we cheer the

days’ gradual movement back toward light, let us also remember the irreplaceable

value of darkness.” The description of nature and the stunningly beautiful

imagery creates a feeling of deep respect for the darkness. We share in Bogard’s

view and as a result, Bogard has undeniable credibility. Bogard knows the power

of darkness and through his childhood memories, we lean our ears to listen to

him.

Even though credibility makes many appearences throughout the passage, it

would have no real meaning without evoking emotion. Bogard strikes the people

who disagree with him when he says, “Our bodies need darkness to produce the

hormone melatonin, which keeps certain cancers from developing and our bodies

need darkness for sleep. Sleep disorders have been linked to diabetes, obesity,

cardiovascular disease and depression, and recent research suggests one main

cause of ‘short sleep’ is ‘long light’.” Bogard’s statement dissolves any doubt,

but builds up new feeling. We finally see the true importance of allowing our

world to temporarily succumb to darkness. Through the emotion Bogard evokes, we

suddenly feel defensive in preserving the darkness for the sake of our mental

and physical health. Bogard even makes us think about the future generations:

“In a world awash with electric light...how would Van Gogh have given the world

his ‘starry night’? Who knows what this vision of the night sky must inspire in

each of us, in our children or grandchildren?”

In order to achieve proper credibility and stir emotion, undeniable facts

must reside in passage. Bogard has completed his research, and uses it to

further his case: “The rest of the world depends on darkness as well, including

nocturnal and crepuscular species of birds, insects, mammals, fish, and

reptiles. Some examples are well known—the 400 species of birds that migrate at

night in North America, the sea turtles that come to lay their eggs—and some are

not, such as the bats that save American farmers billions in pest control and

the moths that pollinate 80% of the world’s flora.” Using the facts about

animals, Bogard extends the argument beyond humans, allowing us to see that

darkness does not only have an impact on us, but all of nature. Bogard then

says, “In the United States and Western Europe, the amount of light in the sky

increases an average of about 6% every year.... Much of this light is wasted

energy, which means wasted dollars. Those of us over 35 are perhaps among the

last generation to have known truly dark nights.” However, Bogard extends the

facts to offer various solutions to wasted and excessive light, such as changing

LED streetlights and reducing the use of lights in public buildings and homes

during the night. Bogard builds up our world, and then breaks it down in our

minds with his writing: “Simply put, without darkness, Earth’s ecology would

collapse....”

We can still save our world according to Bogard. We must see the strength and

beauty in the darkness, and remember how our world survived without lights.

Light can be acceptable, but too much of it can prove worse than permanent

darkness.

This response scored a 4/3/4.

Reading—4: This response demonstrates thorough comprehension of Bogard’s

text. The writer captures the central idea of the source passage (the importance

of allowing more darkness to fill the earth for distinct health and ecological

reasons) and accurately quotes and paraphrases many important details from the

passage. Moreover, the writer demonstrates an understanding of how these ideas

and details interrelate. In the third body paragraph, for example, the writer

shows the movement of Bogard’s argument from humans to animals and from problems

to solutions (Using facts about animals, Bogard extends the argument beyond

humans... Bogard extends the facts to offer various solutions). The response is

free of errors of fact and interpretation. Overall, this response demonstrates

advanced reading comprehension.

Analysis—3: The writer demonstrates an understanding of the analytical task

by analyzing three ways Bogard builds his argument (personal observation for

credibility, stirring feelings, and startling facts to deliver a powerful

argument). Throughout the response, the writer discusses Bogard’s use of these

three elements and is able to move past asserting their significance to deliver

an effective analysis of the effects of these techniques on Bogard’s audience.

Effective analysis is evident in the first body paragraph in which the writer

discusses the audience’s possible reaction to reading about Bogard’s experience

with darkness as a child (Bogard knows the power of darkness and through his

childhood memories, we lean our ears to listen to him). In the second body

paragraph, the writer contends that Bogard’s statement dissolves any doubt, but

builds up new feeling. We finally see the true importance of allowing our world

to temporarily succumb to darkness. Through the emotion Bogard evokes, we

suddenly feel defensive in preserving the darkness for the sake of our mental

and physical health. These points of analysis would have been stronger had the

writer elaborated on how they work to build Bogard’s argument. However, the

writer competently evaluates Bogard’s use of personal observation, emotions, and

facts and provides relevant and sufficient support for each claim, demonstrating

effective analysis.

Writing—4: The writer demonstrates highly effective use and command of

language in this cohesive response. The response includes a precise central

claim (Bogard uses personal observation for credibility, stirring feelings, and

startling facts to deliver a powerful argument), and each of the subsequent

paragraphs remains focused on one of the topics set forth in that central claim.

There is a deliberate progression of ideas both within paragraphs and throughout

the response. Moreover, the response demonstrates precise word choice and

sophisticated turns of phrase (temporarily succumb to darkness, remains

nostalgic about his childhood, dissolves any doubt). The concluding paragraph

develops the essay rather than just restating what has been said and is also

successful for its precise word choice and complex sentence structures (We must

see the strength and beauty in the darkness, and remember how our world survived

without lights. Light can be acceptable, but too much of it can prove worse than

permanent darkness). Although there are occasional missteps where the writer

overreaches with language (In order to achieve proper credibility and stir

emotion, undeniable facts must reside in the passage), overall, this response

demonstrates advanced writing skill.