雅思写作范文及学生习作评析

2024-04-25

来源: 易伯华教育

雅思写作范文及学生习作评析

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以下是一篇雅思写作范文以及一篇学生习作,并附有评析:

题目:年轻人是否应该从事志愿工作?

Model Essay:

雅思写作范文及学生习作评析

In recent years, there has been a growing trend among young people to engage in volunteer work. While some might argue that this kind of work is a waste of time, I believe that it can have numerous benefits for both individuals and society as a whole.

Firstly, volunteering can provide young people with valuable experience and skills that can help them in their future careers. For example, volunteering at a hospital can provide young people with firsthand experience in healthcare, while volunteering at a community center can help them develop leadership and organizational skills. Moreover, volunteer work can be a great addition to a resume, demonstrating that the individual is proactive and motivated.

Secondly, volunteering can have a positive impact on the community. Whether by helping to improve the local environment or by supporting a social cause, young people can make a real difference through their volunteer work. Additionally, volunteering can help foster a sense of community and unity, bringing together people from different backgrounds and with different perspectives.

Finally, volunteering can be personally fulfilling for young people. Engaging in volunteer work can provide young people with a sense of purpose and accomplishment, as they see the positive impact that they are making in the world. Moreover, volunteer work can be a great way for young people to meet new people and form meaningful connections with others.

In conclusion, while there may be some who argue that young people should not engage in volunteer work, I believe that the benefits to both individuals and society are too great to ignore. By providing valuable experience and skills, making a positive impact on the community, and creating personal fulfillment, volunteer work can be a wonderful way for young people to give back and make a difference.

Student Essay:

Some people believe that volunteering is a waste of time for young people. However, I think that it can be a good way for them to learn new skills and make a difference in their communities.

Firstly, volunteering can help young people gain valuable experience. For example, working with animals at a shelter can give them knowledge about animal care that can be useful in the future. Additionally, volunteering can help them learn valuable skills such as teamwork and communication.

Secondly, volunteering can have a positive impact on the community. For instance, if they volunteer in a local park, they can help clean up the park and make it a nicer place for everyone to enjoy. Furthermore, volunteering can help young people develop a sense of responsibility and make them more aware of the needs of others.

Finally, volunteering can give young people a sense of fulfillment. When they see that their efforts are making a real difference in the world, it can make them feel good about themselves and their contributions to society.

In conclusion, volunteering is not a waste of time for young people. It can help them gain valuable experience, make a positive impact in their communities, and provide them with a sense of fulfillment. Young people should consider volunteering as a way to learn new skills, help others, and make a difference in the world.

雅思写作范文及学生习作评析

Analysis:

The model essay clearly and concisely addresses all aspects of the topic, offering specific examples and supporting evidence. The writing is well-organized and uses sophisticated vocabulary and sentence structures. The student essay, on the other hand, is less developed and contains more generalizations and vague language. While the student presents some valid points, they do not provide enough specific examples and could benefit from more development. Additionally, the writing could be improved with better organization and a stronger use of language.

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