【9分作文盛宴】simon考官华丽雅思大作文详解4:环境破坏与保护

2024-04-25

来源: 易伯华教育

【9分作文盛宴】simon考官华丽雅思大作文详解4:环境破坏与保护

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Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官,由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气。其网站上提供大量关于复习雅思的技巧以及颠覆性的建议,甚至还有不少Simon本人亲笔写的满分作文。这些满分作文由于出自英国考官之手,非常地道,言简意赅,和中国考生惯用的千篇一律的模板作文相比,着实让人眼前一亮。易伯华的Phoebe老师深感有义务要让孩子们接触到真正可以提分的好作文,所以以后会频繁地帮大家整理并总结这些满分作文的精华,相信大家都可以扔掉模板,写出高分作文!

今天带来一篇大作文,题目如下:

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What

can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

在写作文之前,先讲一个Simon的非常有用的建议。Simon说,some students were surprised that you can get

a band 9 using "Firstly, Secondly, Finally".Is the phrase "First and foremost"

better than "Firstly"?有一些学生见他的文章使用"Firstly, Secondly,

Finally"这样的词语,很吃惊,所以就问词组"First and foremost"是否比"Firstly"要好?

The answer is NO.回答是No。理由是:

Using simple organising language like "Firstly, Secondly" makes you focus on

the REAL CONTENT of what you are writing - topic vocabulary, collocations,

examples. This is what the examiner wants to

see.(使用简单的词汇可以让你更加专注在真正的内容上,这才是考官想看到的)

Spend your time preparing ideas, opinions and examples for IELTS topics, not

learning alternative ways to write

"Firstly".(要把时间花在准备思想,意见和举例上,而不是花心思去找firstly的替代词)

总之呢,内容核心是分数高低的关键。接下来大家写一下今天的作文,写好和范文对照。

完整范文:

Humans are responsible for a variety of environmental problems, but we can

also take steps to reduce the damage that we are causing to the planet. This

essay will discuss environmental problems and the measures that governments and

individuals can take to address these problems.

Two of the biggest threats to the environment are air pollution and waste.

Gas emissions from factories and exhaust fumes from vehicles lead to global

warming, which may have a devastating effect on the planet in the future. As the

human population increases, we are also producing ever greater quantities of

waste, which contaminates the earth and pollutes rivers and oceans.

Governments could certainly make more effort to reduce air pollution. They

could introduce laws to limit emissions from factories or to force companies to

use renewable energy from solar, wind or water power. They could also impose

‘green taxes’ on drivers and airline companies. In this way, people would be

encouraged to use public transport and to take fewer flights abroad, therefore

reducing emissions.

Individuals should also take responsibility for the impact they have on the

environment. They can take public transport rather than driving, choose products

with less packaging, and recycle as much as possible. Most supermarkets now

provide reusable bags for shoppers as well as ‘banks’ for recycling glass,

plastic and paper in their car parks. By reusing and recycling, we can help to

reduce waste.

In conclusion, both national governments and individuals must play their part

【9分作文盛宴】simon考官华丽雅思大作文详解4:环境破坏与保护

in looking after the environment.

Note:

This essay is exactly 250 words long. I've tried to make it as simple as

possible, but it's still good enough to get a band 9.

词汇总结:

exhaust fumes: 汽车尾气

vehicles: 车辆,交通工具

devastating: 破坏性的

quantity: 数量

contaminate: 污染

emission: 排放物

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【9分作文盛宴】simon考官华丽雅思大作文详解4:环境破坏与保护

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