雅思写作知识点分析！(四十七)

雅思培训,雅思写作,雅思写作测试,雅思写作培训,雅思写作课程,易伯华教育

应对:Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss

of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more

important environmental problems.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.这个题目

学生在主体部分写了如下一句话：

In fact, there are also significant environmental issues like the overuse

air condition that causes the temperature increasing.

教师修改后的句子，如下：

In fact, there are issues that deserve more attention than species

extinction. Climate change and water contamination are just two of these major

concerns.

原句中的also本意用来提供额外信息，但该句不构成与上文的附加关系，而应该是比较关系：谁更严重。

不使用significant替换考官给的important，直接更换为更具备词义细节、更包含负面评价色彩的词汇去修饰issues，如threatening、severe、deserve

more attention等

like用来举例细化上文的alarming issues有哪些，所以列出问题即可，不必要再解释环境问题形成的原因。

措辞要准确且搭配合理，the overuse of air condition是中英文都说不通的一个短语，temperature

increasing不如改成climate change。

小总结

不要随意添加无关信息，更不要试图靠这些信息扩充篇幅。