雅思写作知识点分析！(十五)

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应对

It is much easier to maintain health today than it was in the past.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

这个题目

学生的第 一句写道(应该是陈述背景的那一句)：

With the development of science and technology, the level of modern medical

treatment has been greatly improved, people have been able to cure many kinds of

diseases that could not be cured in the past, which provides a guarantee for

people's health.

* with the development of blah blah blah，烦不烦呀。。。。

* 这个句子，读起来不觉得烦琐么?

* improve在这个语境中没有必要用及物时候的被动(instead，用不及物时的主动意义就更顺畅)。

* the level of modern medical treatment has been greatly improved 和 people

have been able to cure many kinds of diseases that could not be cured in the

past之间欠缺一个关键的标点符号—逗号(用于两个完整句子的复合连接)。

* 别的，还好。

看下面

教师修改意见：

Humans have been finding cures for diseases that used to be incurable.

* 句子高度简化，去掉所有的冗余的“凑字”信息。

* incurable替代原来的could not be cured是以词汇的方式来简化表达。

* 体会一下have been finding。现在完成进行时中含有“一直以来”的意思。

小总结：

* 形式上的至简，意义却足够丰富，是写句子的“道”。

* 词汇和语法的基本功要扎实，用词汇和语法来处理表意时候的小细节句子的表意。推荐阅读：雅思听力第四部分的解题技巧!雅思口语技巧：讲好故事雅思阅读怎么练习更?雅思写作如何三步搞定!