学生习作

Nowadays,

life quality has been improved. Many

people choose go travel abroad, but some people think that is not benefit from

travel to the other counties. In my opinion, international travel is the best

way to understanding other countries.

personally, some

people think why people cannot benefit from international travel is they might

never go travel abroad.

Travel is my favorite thing. I

have been travel to

10 countries. I met a lot interesting things for

every times travel,

although the countrywhich

I go there for the second time.

I totally disagree

people just

use book or Internet to understand the other counties.

Firstly, before

I went to Singapore, I knew the official language in Singapore is English, but

when I been there I found Singaporean usually speak Singlish. Singlish

is the language that include English, Cantonese, Hokkien and Malay. For example

they call milk tea ‘Teh’ and

coffee as ‘kopi’. I

haven’t

known that on the book or Internet before I went to

Singapore.

The overseas information are very limit on the book or internet and the most

book has similar content to describe a country. We have to stay their to real

understanding the local customs and habits.

Secondly, the process of travel is the best moment for me. I can taste the

special local food and I can social with local people to know the country

better. I prefer independent travel to guide tour. The

time and schedule is freer for Independent travel.

Admittedly,

book and Internet are both the good way for people to understanding other

counties. But

real travel to the counties can know the local culture more

understanding.

评分：5

点评：围绕题目要求，结合自己经历，因此内容比较充实，具体。基本能够用英语表达自己的意思，词汇使用显示出一定的幅度，但无论词汇使用和复杂句型使用，都出现了较多错误，有些甚至影响了理解。

建议：进一步练习英语句子的基本结构，确保先不犯大的语法错误。在用汉语思考的时候，想办法将比较复杂的汉语转化为更简单的汉语，然后用英语去表达。多练习写，并请人修订语法错误，总结出自己错误倾向，并专门予以改正。

预期：该生有一定基础，有一定写作能力，只要减少句子写作错误，有机会冲击6分或者6.5分。

修改版

Nowadays,

life quality has been improved. Many

people choose go travel abroad, but some people think that is not benefit from

travel to the other counties. In my opinion, international travel is the best

way to understanding other countries.

Nowadays,

life quality has been improved. Many people choose

to go travel

abroad, but some people think they

do not benefit from travel to other countries.

In my opinion, international travel is the

best way to understand other

countries.

Personally, some

people think why people cannot benefit from international travel is they might

never go travel abroad.

Travel is my favorite thing. I

have been travel to

10 countries. I met a lot interesting things for

every times travel,

although the countrywhich

I go there for the second time.

I totally disagree

people just

use book or Internet to understand the other counties.

Personally,

I think the reason why people think they cannot benefit from international

travel is that they have never gone abroad.

Travel is my favorite thing. I have

traveledto

10 countries. I met a lot of interesting things during my travel, even whenI went to a

country for the second time.

I totally disagree that people just use books or Internet to understand other

countries.

Firstly, before

I went to Singapore, I knew the official language in Singapore is English, but

when I been there I found Singaporean usually speak Singlish. Singlish

is the language that include English, Cantonese, Hokkien and Malay.

For example they call milk tea ‘Teh’ and

coffee as ‘kopi’. I

haven’t

known that on the book or Internet before I went to Singapore.

The overseas information are very limit on

the book or internet and the most book has similar content to describe a

country. We have to stay their to real

understanding the local customs and habits.

Secondly, the process of travel is the best moment for me. I can taste the

special local food and I can social with local people to know the country

better. I

prefer independent travel to guide tour. The time and schedule is freer for

Independent travel.

For

example, before I went to Singapore, I knew that official language in Singapore

is English, but when i visited this country i found Singaporean usually speak

Singlish,which

is a language that combines English, Cantonese, Hokkien and Malay.

For example, they call tea ‘Teh’ and

coffee “kopi”.

I had not known that on books or Internet before I

went to Singapore. The information is usually very limited on

books or Internet and they often offer similar information about a country, so

we have to stay in a foreign country in order to really understand the local

customs and styles. In addition, when I am traveling, I can taste the special

local food and I can social with local people to know the country

better.

Admittedly,

book and Internet are both the good way for people to understanding other

counties. But

real travel to the counties can know the local culture more

understanding.

Admittedly,

books and Internet are both the good ways for people to understand other

countries, yet

traveling to these countries in person, wewill know, feel and taste their

authentic culture.