雅思写作知识点分析！(五十七)

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　 应对

Some people say that the economic growth is the only way to end world

poverty and hunger; while some say that economic growth is harmful to the

environment, so we must stop it now.

Discuss both of the views and give your own opinion.

这个题目

学生在开头段落的第 一句写了下面这句话：

As the world economy constantly develops, the disadvantaged people can

acquire practical knowledge and gain vocational training to find employment and

break the cycle of poverty.

我们来看教师修改后的句子，如下：

The world economy constantly developing, the disadvantaged groups in any

country can find employment and break the cycle of poverty through the

integrated demand-supply chain.

首先，原句中的 as 引导的状语从句部分改用独立主格结构。这是一个会被忽略的前置状语现象，通常表原因/方式/条件。

原句中的the disadvantaged people 改成 the disadvantaged groups in any

country是为了的回应题目。

关键的改动在于：

1)原句中的 acquire practical knowledge and gain vocational training to find

employment and break the cycle of poverty 是一个do something to do something

这样一个结构。改动后(find employment and break the cycle of poverty through the integrated

demand-supply chain)是 do something through something 这样的一个结构。

2)区别在于什么?由于句子的逻辑核心在动词上，原句中的逻辑核心就是acquire something and gain

something。可是，这一句的核心明明应该是find employment and break the cycle of poverty上，因为这是The

world economy constantly developing的结果。

3)所以原句中本仅仅是表达实现结果的方式的动作 acquire something and gain something

抢了风头(此处有福利：“抢了谁的风头”的英语表达是“steal somebody’s thunder”)。

4)在改用 find employment and break the cycle of poverty through

something后，through用来表达实现结果的方式放在句子的动词之后，就避免了干扰句子的重点。

5)through 后面的 the integrated demand-supply chain

是一个基于的想法而产生的紧凑又一语中的的表达，不是简单的词汇或语法就可以实现的，而是知识和想法的带来的表达方式的。

小总结

仔细体会上面那个关键点