雅思写作高分范文逐句精讲--孩子的品德教育该由谁负责

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在雅思写作考试中，教育类话题出现的频率极高，所以大家一定要多加练习此类题目。今天我们来详细分析一篇教育类的写作范文，大家一定要注意到高分作文的一些写作构思、用词技巧和讲话逻辑，最后都能写出高分作文。范例题目如下：

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members

of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

写作构思

题目问孩子的品德教育应该由家长还是由学校负责，典型的both

sides讨论，两方面观点都要说，按照逻辑顺序先说家里父母的职责，再扩展到校园对孩子的影响，最后得出我们的观点是：教育孩子人人有责！

第一段：Introduction

A child’s education has never been about learning information and basic

skills only. (首句用不完全否定引出话题，更耐人寻味，注意never和完成时的使用)It has always included teaching

the next generation how to be good members of society(可数名词不裸奔；include用词准确).

Therefore, this cannot be the responsibility of the parents

alone.(再次用部分否定提出观点，准确而又简洁，过渡到家长的话题)

第二段：家长的职责所在

In order to be a good member of any society, the individual (前后冠词运用准确)must

respect and obey the rules (动词搭配准确)of their community andshare their values

(“三观要正”，高分搭配). Educating (teaching同义词替换)children to understand the need to obey

rules and respect others always begins in the home and is widely thought to the

responsibility of parents(“广泛认为”，线性推理最后才出现家长这个词，吊足考官胃口，论证充分). They will

certainly be the first to help children learn what is important in life, how

they are expected to behave and what role they will play in their world

(三个并列的宾语从句，语意完整语序准确).

第三段：学校的作用

However, learning to understand and share the value system of a whole

society(同义改写，society替换community, value system替换values)cannot be achieved just in

the home(转折过渡句，动名词作主语，learn in the home替换taught by parents). Once

(“一旦”，替换if和when，强调立刻)a child goes to school, they are entering a wilder

community where teachers and peers will have just as much influence as their

parents do at home(where从句里as…as无痕迹表达对比). At school, children will experience

working and living with people from a whole variety of(搭配生动) backgrounds from

the wider society. This experience should teach them how to cooperate with each

other and how to contribute to the life of their community (动词词汇多样).

第四段：总结个人观点

But to be a valuable member of any community is not like learning a simple

skill(动词形态准确). It is something that an individual goes on learning throughout

life and it is the responsibility of every member of a society to take

responsibility for helping the younger generation(替换children) to becomeactive

and able members(多样词汇替换good member)of that society

(在线性推理中用强调句结尾，观点明确，动词搭配准确).