雅思写作知识点分析(七十三)

雅思培训,雅思写作,雅思写作测试,雅思写作培训,雅思写作课程,易伯华教育

　 Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in

the cities. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this development outweigh its

disadvantages?

应对这道题，学生在原因表述中写了这样一个句子：

In addition, citizens have better medical facilities and more convenience,

they can go around the city by varied kinds of traffic transport and many famous

hospitals locate in the city center.

学生在原因阐述时出现了跑题，并且在句子衔接上缺少了连接词。

教师修改后如下：

In addition, with a higher level of infrastructure provided in urban areas,

those young people can be better secured academically and financially, thus

applying themselves to their pursuit in studies and work.

作文要扣题，城市生活的便利性不应是写作的重点，而是要服务于题目中说到的去城市学习和工作;

独立主格结构的使用省去了学生对于医院，交通这些具象化的赘述，增强了句子的弹性，突出了句子的重心：be better secured

academically and financially;另外留意两个副词的灵活使用;

原句当中两个单句缺乏连接词的衔接，在修改的句子中重新整合逻辑，用一个整句呈现：城市有的基础设施水平→使年轻人在学习和经济上得到保证→因此就能专注于自己的追求;另注意thus是副词，不可连接两个分句。

3分钟过去了，你学会了吗?