《剑16》Test 2 小作文详解 | 制造类流程图如何写才能得高分?

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《剑16》Test 2 小作文

审题

常规的制造类流程图，图不难看懂，注意所有信息包含(TA)，衔接手段(CC)，动词使用灵动(LR)，以及语法层面不能都是简单句(GRA)。

Rephrasing

The flow chart is an illustration of how sugar is manufactured from sugar

cane.

主句部分可以从句型上进行改写，将主谓宾改为主系表结构，of后面则是how引导的从句。

Body 1

To produce cane sugar, one raw material – 同位语的插入现象 ripe sugar canes

– is the necessity. 先后顺序可以利用时态来体现 Having matured for one year to a year

and a half, the canes are reaped 注意两个箭头，可使用平行结构 either by a giant

harvester or by farmers with sickles. 表语从句 The subsequent step is that

the 顶针：前一个的动词可以转成同根词不同词性变体，加强步骤间衔接紧凑 harvested canes are squeezed into

juice by a rolling crusher. Till now, all the preparatory procedures are

accomplished.

利用时态、句式、同根词变体等方式，进行衔接，而非机械使用firstly, secondly, then等。

Body 2

After preparation, 倒装句 here comes the next step of pouring the raw

juice into a filter made of limestone to have the juice refined.

方位词引导的完全倒装句 At the bottom of this filter is an exit, through which the

同根词不同词性变体 filtered fluid is instilled in a heated stove, in which it is

turned into thick syrup by evaporating the moisture. Afterwards, the hot syrup

is placed in a spinning centrifuge for the purpose of detaching the sugar

crystals from the liquid. The process ends with dehydrating and chilling the

sugar solids in a container.

Lexis: 重点关注标红动词与图中动词的同义替换。

Overview

Overall, the method whereby cane sugar is produced is time-consuming,

consisting of four main procedures – cultivating, pressing, separating, and

drying, and the equipment used is rather primitive.

TA：考官对于overview的要求，在近几年一直反复强调需要more detailed，因此步骤需稍微细化。

GRA：whereby后面是关系副词引导的定语从句，等同于through which。