雅思写作知识点分析！(三十四)

雅思培训,雅思写作,雅思写作测试,雅思写作培训,雅思写作课程,易伯华教育

应对

Some people believe that nowadays students can learn more from the Internet

than from their teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

这个题目

学生在主体部分某段落有一句话写道：

Despite so many pieces of information on the Internet, much of them are not

well organized or even unreasonable, so it takes students a lot of time and

energy to arrange them and extract useful content.

比较于教师修改后的句子：

Although the Internet provides abundant information, much of the

information is unorganized or doubtful, and organizing and verifying the

information may take too much of students’ time and energy.

* 修改后的句子更顺畅(说法叫“语流”)。

* 修改后的句子中的用词更准确或者更合理：abundant、unorganized、doubtful、organize、verify、too

much。发现了么?重点在于：一)用来描述关键行为的动词;二)用来对关键概念给出评价的形容词。

* 修改后的句子在表达“负面评价”的用意上因为选词的合理而更成功：unorganized、doubtful、too much。

★ 小总结 ★

* “语流” 是个微妙的东西，但是对读者的阅读感受影响是相当大的。

* 选词时，要注意选用更有意义细节的词汇。当然，首先需要足够量的活跃词汇。