雅思写作知识点分析(五十四)

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应对

Some people say that the economic growth is the only way to end world

poverty and hunger; while some say that economic growth is harmful to the

environment, so we must stop it now.

Discuss both of the views and give your own opinion.

这个题目

学生在开头段落的第 一句写了下面这句话：

Some people think that the only effective way to end global poverty and

hunger is developing the world’s economy, but some hold an extreme idea that we

must cease the economic growth because of the environmental degradation it

brings.

我们来看教师修改后的句子，如下：

Some people think that the only effective way to end global poverty and

hunger is developing the world’s economy, but some oppose this idea. Their

rebuttal, the opposite and rather extreme idea, is that we must cease the

economic growth because of the environmental degradation it brings.

首先，原来的一句话拆成了两句话。第 一句的 but 后只是说到 some oppose this

idea，但是没有说到具体的反对观点是什么。第二句开始，单独一句话说了反对观点是什么。这样的处理方式叫做“缓急”，也就是不着急一句话里塞满了信息(导致一句话的信息量过大，读者读起来感觉费劲)，而是在第 一句话里或者是让第 一句话成为第二句话的“引子”。

反对观点放在第二句话里，单独成句后，一上来就有了一个设计语法现象(同位语)的机会。

注意词汇：oppose 和 rebuttal(是rebut的名词)

小总结

好的作文肯定不仅仅是单句出色，还需要句子之间的配合。那么，“缓急”就是一个常用的用来搭配句子的方法。