雅思写作知识点分析(七十)，这次小作文柱图!

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The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and

consumption of electricity in 2014.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and

make comparisons where relevant.

应对这张柱图

学生在对中国和美国的电力生产量和消费量

的表述如下：

China had the largest amount of production(5398 billion kWh) and

consumption(5322 billion kWh) of electricity in 2014, and the United States

ranked the second - 4099 billion kWh(production) and 3866 billion

kWh(consumption).

该句存在的主要问题在于：

题目指令(主要特征+作比较)的回应

不够突出。

教师修改后如下：

It was noticeable that China and the United States were the two biggest

producers and consumers of electricity. More precisely, as the electrical supply

could meet the demand in both countries, China was the only country whose

figures were all over 5000 billion kWh, just with a gap of 76b kWh, while the

other country saw a slightly larger difference(233b kWh).

一般在写最明显的特征时，it作形式主语的主语从句不失为一个好的选择。

挖掘数字背后的“客观事实”，用supply和demand代替production和consumption。

题目的第二指令“make comparisons”

不要忘记。这里有三层比较：两国各自数据的比较;之间数据的比较;中国，美国与其他之间数据的比较。

无话可说时，把“定性”和“定量”的内容分开来阐述。